DON’T LOSE GUARD WITH YOUR DAUGHTERS
You can’t be too sure…
I watched a skit a few minutes ago and I remembered an incident that happened last year. I have her permission to share without revealing names or locations. Also some details have been changed.
A mother asked to use her fifteen year old daughter’s phone for some days while her own phone was being repaired.
WhatsApp messages dropped on the phone. Her daughter had passworded her WhatsApp so she couldn’t see the messages.
Out of curiosity, she tried some passwords and her daughter’s birthday was the password. She opened the WhatsApp and almost died, with the shock of what she saw.
A man in the next building had been chatting with her daughter. He had made several sexual advances towards her, which the daughter refused. He was adamant. He pursued her. He sent her recharge cards, came to her school to her gifts and money.
He asked her if she had a boyfriend or have ever had intimacy, she said no. He pursued her some more.
He requested for her pictures, almost unclad, which she initially refused to send him but when he sent his, she sent hers. It was nothing too revealing as she was in her bra and underwear.
He taught her how to password her WhatsApp.
Then he pushed for more. He wanted to see her completely nude. She couldn’t take such a picture because she shared a room with her siblings.
He asked her to lock herself in the bathroom for them to have a video call.
She saw messages like “Did you like what you saw?” “ Stop being shy around me.” “Why are you afraid? Nobody will see you.” He sent a picture of his nudity to her. A girl of fifteen!
It became terrifying when her daughter sent a chat saying she saw him with his wife the other night and he ignored her. She knew her daughter had fallen and it was a matter of time before the guy had his way.
She contacted me and asked me for advice. I have helped her in the past so she felt she could confide in me.
The truth is, when such a thing happens, you have to get someone who will treat the man’s Bleep-up very well. Who is the person who will be angry enough to do that No other person than her father.
She was scared her husband will dump the blame on her. She was looking for another way to handle it without him.
I told her, “If you handle it quietly, the man will be wiser and will ensure he won’t be caught since he is obsessed with your daughter that he patiently groomed her. It is best he is disgraced and only her father will do that unless he is a useless man that’s when he will keep quiet.” I told her she is lucky the girl hadn’t agreed to be alone with the man anywhere. It was getting close to that.
Her husband didn’t disappoint me. Immediately he read the chats and saw the ‘manhood’ he took off to the man’s house that night. The wife ran after him. He banged continuously on the gate.
Well, the man got what was coming to him. He was disgraced. The evidence of their chats were there. His neighbours were shocked because he portrayed a picture of a saint but he was the devil and also a paedophile.
The husband wanted to take the matter to the Police but everyone begged. The landlord of their house and the man’s house also appealed to him not to escalate the matter. They begged him not to expose his chats on social media as his wife, my friend, had promised to do.
The culprit’s wife left him. He eventually had to move out of the house immediately the rent was due. The disgrace was too much for them to handle. Everywhere he went in the neighborhood, mothers were wary of him around their daughters.
They have collected the phones from their children. If you are not in university, no more phones.
How did they handle the girl? I asked them not to beat her. But the father refused to listen. He said she had brought disgrace to the household. He wanted to send her to the village but I stopped him. She needed therapy not to be shamed. I told the mother to take her to see a psychologist at Yaba left. It worked!
Older men groom very young girls and turn them into sex slaves. It was what this man was doing. The kind of chats they had was irritating coming from a grown man. He was able to make her do some of the things he wanted by doing them first.
That phone your daughter holds very dear to her heart, please once in a while, check it. Make sure she is not being groomed for someone’s perversion. Check what she is doing and advise her. Anyone younger than sixteen shouldn’t be on social media. Anyone still in secondary school shouldn’t be there too, regardless of their age.
Girls have been lured to travel abroad to be sex slaves, all by grooming or greed. They make them hate their families and believe they are the only ones that love them . They give them attention and say sweet things to them often. It is easy to fall for such.
Teach your children these signs and also do not expose them unnecessarily to these men. Paedophiles are evolving. They are getting smarter. We have to keep our girls safe.
I love you all.