The irony of life by Christie Doyin

 

 

By Christie Doyin

My heart bleeds. I am deeply saddened as I watch the video clip of the young son of Assistant Superintendent of Police Caleb Leranmo and his wife, Taiwo, who tragically murdered each other, leaving their children to an uncertain fate.

It is heartbreaking and incomprehensible to think that this couple read the Bible and prayed before their unfortunate demise. Were they seeking strength, asking for God’s forgiveness, or trying to locate the devil’s address in hell?

Their innocent son, his sister, and their other siblings are undoubtedly traumatised. Watching the video clip, it is evident that the boy is incoherent, lost in shock.

He will carry this painful memory for the rest of his life unless he and his other siblings receive proper rehabilitation. But who will help these children heal? Who will mend their broken hearts?

This tragedy forces us to confront some difficult questions about marriage, parenting, and society. How does a relationship that begins with love and companionship deteriorate into hatred and bloodshed? What does it say about our values when children, who should be protected, are instead left to witness horror, gory results of parents thoughtlessness?

Violence in marriages has become an alarming crisis in our society. Every other day, we hear of husbands killing their wives, wives killing their husbands, and children being left as collateral damage. The Leranmos’ case is just one of many tragic examples. The statistics on domestic violence are staggering, yet the silence surrounding the issue remains deafening.

Why do couples resort to extreme measures instead of seeking help? Did the Leranmos ever seek counseling? Did they confide in family or friends? Or were they trapped in a society that demands silence in the face of suffering? Suffering and smiling as late enigma, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti put it. The truth is, many people live in abusive marriages but stay because of societal expectations. Women are told to endure, to be submissive, and to protect the image of their homes, while men are conditioned to suppress emotions, believing that seeking help is a sign of weakness.

Yet, at what cost? In this case, two lives were lost, and innocent children were left orphaned. Was the argument worth it? Whatever the cause of the fight, was it truly worth dying for? It’s a Big NO!

The most disturbing part of this story is that the couple prayed and read the Bible before their deaths. This raises another painful question, was their faith just a ritual, or did it truly shape their actions? Religion, in its purest form, is meant to transform lives, to build patience, forgiveness, and self-control. But in many cases, it has been reduced to an empty routine.

Did they prayed for strength to overcome their conflicts? Or were they asking for forgiveness before committing the ultimate sin? Perhaps they were seeking justification for their actions, believing they had divine permission to take matters into their own hands. It is difficult to comprehend how people can read the same Bible that preaches love, peace, and forgiveness, yet proceed to destroy each other.

This is not an isolated case. We see religious hypocrisy in many forms, people who appear pious in public yet display cruelty behind closed doors. It is a harsh reality that faith without genuine transformation is meaningless.

The real victims of this tragedy are the children. Their lives have been forever altered. No child should have to witness such horror, yet these innocent souls were thrust into a nightmare they never deserved.

Children who experience trauma, especially at such a young age, often struggle with severe emotional and psychological consequences. Many develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, and depression. They may struggle with relationships in the future, unable to trust or express love. The boy’s haunting words—”I know my mummy is coming back.”—are a testament to the deep emotional wound he carries.

But who will help these children heal? Will the family step in, or will they be passed around like unwanted baggage? Many orphaned children end up in the care of relatives who see them as a burden rather than a responsibility. They are often subjected to neglect, abuse, and even exploitation.

It is one thing to say, “I will act like a mother/father.” But truly being a parent requires commitment, love, and sacrifice. The word “like” is heavily burdened, it implies imitation rather than authenticity. Will these children find someone who will truly be a parent to them, or will they be left at the mercy of those who offer only half-hearted care, or none at all?

Marriage is not by compulsion. If a relationship has become toxic, it is better to walk away than to stay and destroy each other. The notion that a couple must remain together at all costs is dangerous. Some even urged it’s for the children’s sake. Now, what?

Many people stay in toxic marriages because they fear judgment from society, the church, or even their own families. They endure years of abuse, believing that leaving would be a sign of failure. But what is the alternative? To die at the hands of the person who once promised to love and protect them?

In the Leranmos’ case, we do not know who started the fight or what triggered the violence. But one thing is clear, whatever the cause, it was not worth their lives. If only they had chosen a different path. If only they had sought help. If only they had walked away before it was too late.

As a police officer, Caleb Leranmo was supposed to be trained in conflict resolution. Police officers deal with volatile situations daily, yet he could not defuse the tensions in his own home. This raises important questions about the mental health and emotional well-being of law enforcement personnel.

How many officers, like Caleb Leranmo, are battling personal demons while maintaining a composed front at work? How many law enforcement personnel go home burdened with stress, unresolved trauma, and unaddressed mental health struggles? The very individuals trained to restore peace in society often find themselves unable to resolve conflicts in their own homes.

This tragic incident underscores the urgent need for better mental health support within law enforcement agencies. Police officers are exposed to extreme stress, witnessing violence, death, and human suffering daily. Yet, in many cases, they are expected to suppress their emotions and simply “be strong.” There is little to no emphasis on psychological counseling or emotional well-being.

Perhaps, if Caleb Leranmo had access to professional counseling or mental health programmes, this tragedy could have been avoided. The Nigerian police force and society as a whole, must take cognisance of the fact that mental health is just as crucial as physical fitness. Officers need safe spaces to express their struggles without fear of stigma or professional repercussions.

Ultimately, the deaths of Caleb and Taiwo Leranmo should serve as a wake-up call. Domestic violence does not discriminate, it affects the rich and poor, the educated and uneducated, civilians and uniformed men alike. Until society stops treating marriage as a life sentence and prioritises mental well-being, tragedies like this will continue to occur.

Meanwhile, their children, innocent and undeserving of this pain, are left to navigate a harsh world without their parents. Who will truly care for them? Who will help them heal? The answers remain uncertain, but one thing is clear: there is need for societal change towards relationships.

Christie Doyin JP, a veteran journalist, writes from Ilorin via cdoyinronk@gmail.com

=============